The War Within

Sometimes, I wonder how many other weavers are at war with themselves, have internal conflict, particularly those who weave or do creative work to sell.

Weaving began for me with fascination with looms and the processes of weaving, and my passion for weaving has grown over the past 28 years. However, the reasons for what I weave have changed over the years.

My weaving and sock cranking have now become a business. It’s that time of year again, when I am working hard to create more weaving (and socks) that will be for sale over the next several months. I have commitments, deadlines, and yet I continue to be drawn to the areas of weaving I wish to pursue.


I do enjoy what I make to sell, the batik runners, cottolin towels and table runners, working with color, and don’t think I could sit and weave endlessly things I didn’t enjoy making.

But, there is also a part of me that wants to pursue the areas of weaving that I want to learn far more about, specifically, drawloom/damask, and weaving with finer threads, areas I want to pursue because that is where my personal interest lies.

Hence, the “war” within myself, and what I “want” vs. “need” to do. Right now, it’s more of a balancing act, with the scale tipping away from “want” for awhile, to what I “need” to do for this time of year, and commitments made. Time is the issue.

I do enjoy weaving for the home. My rustic, log home and studio are a bit unique, cozy, and made all the better with the addition of handwoven and handcrafted items, whether weaving, quilting, stitchery, or other forms of handwork. I enjoy creating works that will enhance homes, bring a sense of warmth and quality so often missing today.

My goal is to reach a point where the two parts of my weaving life can merge, that there will be a market for the kind of weaving I love doing, and that is what I will be working toward. Yes, it will be even more time intensive, but I want to try. While I work on getting the drawlooms ready to weave on, I continue working with color, structure, design, and bringing the two sides of my weaving life closer to where I wish to go with my weaving.

5 thoughts on “The War Within”

  1. I weave quite a bit and it seems more often than most weavers. (It does slow down in the summer due to having 2 acres to manage!) While I’m not a production weaver, I do weave for sale and produce some items for our home as well (though not as much as I should ) I seem to be involved with the project but then become ‘un-attached’ once done and I’m good with it being sold to someone else. If it’s for our home, then attachment continues somehow. I’m sorry to be vague but I simply use my inner me to decide what to keep, and what to sell.But I enjoy the weaving of it all.As for what I really want to do…that battle continues…

  2. I weave quite a bit and it seems more often than most weavers. (It does slow down in the summer due to having 2 acres to manage!) While I’m not a production weaver, I do weave for sale and produce some items for our home as well (though not as much as I should ) I seem to be involved with the project but then become ‘un-attached’ once done and I’m good with it being sold to someone else. If it’s for our home, then attachment continues somehow. I’m sorry to be vague but I simply use my inner me to decide what to keep, and what to sell.But I enjoy the weaving of it all.As for what I really want to do…that battle continues…

  3. I understand the war. I don’t sell what I weave, but I do have other parts of my life that must happen. I think most artists experience this tension. Even if they are artists who sell, there is still the business side which takes a great deal of energy and time, and often the teaching side as well And sometimes the balance is not to be found in terms of days or even weeks but in terms of years. In the meantime, continuing to work in bits and pieces on drawloom/damask and finer threads will ultimately get you where you want to go. You seem to be gifted with the necessary persistence.

  4. I don’t sell what I weave….but I have the war of conflicting and competing priorities….other things that I also feel passionate about.I like how you used those two photos to illustrate a few of the directions you feel drawn toward. I think it’s important to pursue what you’re interested in and passionate about in some way, even if you can’t figure out how you’re going to make money out of it. Pursuing your interests helps keep the creative well from running dry. I guess we all make different trade-offs at different times in our lives between what we do for money and what we do for fun. Sometimes those things can overlap, but sometimes they really don’t. Hopefully we’ll all find the right balance for ourselves!!Sue

  5. Well said Jan! You have expressed perfectly the struggle I go through with my work. Interesting how universal our experiences as artists are. No pressure, but I can’t wait to see more from you this summer. The new work is beautiful. Hang in there!

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